Dogfight!
by KlausBaudelaireTheBookworm
Summary: Sequel to Catfight, because it was requested. I advise you read Catfight first, or you won't understand a lot of the references. Quigley and Duncan fight over Violet! It's stupid and OOC, but it's funny.


**A/N: Alright, you asked for it. I wasn't gonna. But you kept reviewing. And if you ask, you shall receive! Plus, I have now officially been here a month and I AM A BETA READER NOW! WOOHOOO! I am super happy at the moment so I decided to be silly at the same time too! :D  
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**I can't believe I got so many reviews for 'Catfight'! Seriously! As of the moment, it's only been about 5 days and 8 people have reviewed already! That's more than for the reviews for my other stories combined! And 'Catfight' must be the most stupid thing I've ever written! What's up with that, huh? You crazy people...  
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**I originally was going to make the Quigley-Duncan fight part of 'Catfight' too, but as I said I was writing that at 3am and I actually got tired so I thought I should take advantage of that and go to sleep. So I finished up quickly and made green hair up for them. Man, now I have to attempt to explain that...  
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**Well, lets see how this goes. Neon hair...hmm...  
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**I want to thank reviewers. You all made my day! I am very happy. Squeee!  
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**IzzyQuagmire0907- I finally memorized the number sequence after your name! That's saying something. :) Thanks for reviewing a ton of my stories!  
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**nuttierthansquirrelpoop- Of course nobody can stand her! She's just...ugh. That's why it happened that way!  
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**yellow 14- Thankyees!  
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** Miss. SunnyBaudelaire- Hooray! I made you laugh! *does victory dance* Well, I owe you! So many of your stories have left me trying to laugh quietly so my family stays asleep. (I KNOW your username isn't right, the intelligent fanfiction thinks it's a link... -_-)  
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**A Story Stalker- Madam?! I'm still a mademoiselle! But thank you for the muffins. Hee!  
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**Guest- I don't know who you are, but thanks!  
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**booklover and Flora 11- Alright, you get your wish. Enjoy it!  
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**By the way, in case you're new: If you haven't picked up on my earlier A/N, this is sort of a sequel to a story I wrote before. So if you haven't read that, you probably won't get a lot of references. You can go to my profile and a few stories down from this one there should be one entitled 'Catfight'. Read that first. Then come back!  
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**You know, while you're at it, there are some other cool stories to check out too. ;)  
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**Anyway, here you go, enjoy, my Very Fabulous Dears!  
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Violet stood on the beach with Klaus, Sunny and Beatrice. They had just shipwrecked on the same beach that had been so significant their entire lives. They were standing there, not doing anything, when they heard a lot of people calling their names.

"Oh my god, Klaus!"

"Klaus!"

"Violet!"

"Hey, Vi!"

Violet turned to see who was calling her and gave a squeal. It was Quigley! She glanced and saw Isadora and Fiona running to Klaus out of the corner of her eye, and she could see Sunny standing there, looking very dejected. Violet ran up to Quigley and tackled him in a huge hug. The two of them kept hugging for a while until someone cleared his throat.

Violet let go of Quigley and saw Duncan, standing there and looking very awkward.

"Duncan! You're alive!" said Violet, and gave him a big hug too. She was just so happy both of them made it past the unknown. She didn't see because she was busy hugging Duncan, but he shot a smug look at Quigley. Quigley returned this with a slight scowl.

"So, Violet," interrupted Quigley, putting on an intelligent air, "Have you been well lately?"

"Quigley," cried Violet, "I thought you were supposed to be the smart one! Of course our lives haven't been well! Someone could write a series about our lives and call it 'A Series of Unfortunate Events', for goodness sake!"

"Alright, alright!" said Quigley, throwing up his hands in surrender, "I'm sorry! I was just worried about you."

Violet's mood changed instantly and she beamed at Quigley. "Well, that's nice of you."

'She must be on her period!' thought Quigley.

"Wait," said Duncan, several seconds later, "He's the smart one? So what am I?"

"The dumb one," said Quigley blatantly.

"Hey!" protested Duncan. "This all isn't fair! When it was just Isadora and me, I had such a great complex personality! And then when you came along, all of a sudden you're the famous Quagmire boy and I'm an idiot!"

"Don't worry, you'll get less dumb as time goes along," said Quigley, patting Duncan's shoulder.

"Thanks, Qui- hey, that's supposed to be an insult!" shouted Duncan. Quigley and Violet giggled rudely.

"You really ARE dumb, Duncan," said Quigley, "That's why I get the girls!" Duncan fumed.

He shouted at Quigley, "Well, you're supposed to be dead! And if you were really dead, Violet would be with me instead. I mean, that's what _everybody_ thought before you showed up again."

"Well, first of all, people like me more because I'm heroic, I get to spend romantic time up on the mountain with Violet, and I know more about VFD than you do! So naturally I'd get the girl."

Duncan, not being able to come up with a good reply because of his low intelligence, lunged at Quigley, pulling him to the ground. They started wresting in a very awkward position because that's how boys wrestle, apparently. Violet watched them with interest for a little bit, then turned around and saw Klaus getting the Heimlich from Fiona. 'Maybe his life is in danger!' Violet shrugged and turned back to the live awkward wrestling match right in front of her.

The fight was going strong until they both stood up for a moment, catching their breath. Duncan took the opportunity to knee Quigley. I don't need to tell you where. Isn't is convenient how one's knee is the perfect height to knee someone in the-

"Aaaaa-haaaa-haaaooww!" interrupted Quigley painfully, falling to the ground and rolling around with his hands between his legs. Duncan decided this was a good time to take a bathroom break and decided to do that. Violet noticed what Duncan was doing, felt really awkward, and discovered a very interesting grain of sand that happened to be facing away from Duncan.

Eventually the sound of water on sand stopped, and Violet turned back to see what the boys were doing now. Quigley was rolling around, and his head happened to roll into the puddle of bathroom that Duncan just made. Quigley freaked out and ran to the ocean and stuck his head in. He then proceeded to fling his head around in the water, looking much like an ostrich who can't seem to get their head in the ground. Alas, it was no use: when Quigley pulled his head out of the water, half his hair where he had rolled into Duncan's bathroom was neon green. It appeared the deadly smelly chemical had taken the color out of his hair!

Quigley growled and put his hands to his chest. Duncan stared at him blankly. Quigley then swung his hands down and Wolverine claws appeared, just like Jean Valjean! Duncan freaked out and tried to run away, but he slipped on air. Quigley caught up to him easily and attacked him, making it look like Duncan was attacked by a bear. Violet glanced over again, bored, and saw Isadora and Fiona wrestling and Klaus making googly-eyes at them.

"Alright! Alright! You win!" cried Duncan. Quigley got off him. Duncan panted for a minute but then he pushed Quigley to the ground so he was lying flat. He then proceeded to do the elevator part of 'Gangnam Style' over him, trying to show off for Violet. Violet rolled her eyes and flipped him the bird.

Duncan gasped indignantly and lost focus of what he was doing. He fell down, his rear end colliding with Quigley's eye.

"Oww!" yelled Quigley, "Get your butt out of my face!"

"Get your face out of my butt!" replied Duncan. Quigley pushed Duncan off him and stalked over to Violet, throwing an arm around her shoulders. His eye was already black and poofy.

"Come on, Violet," said Quigley, starting to walk over to Klaus, Isadora, and Fiona. Duncan sniffed and tried to follow them but he slipped on air again and hurt his ankle.

He eventually trudged over, limping and sniffing.

"Whhoa, what happened to you guhys?" asked Klaus. He had a poofy tongue. Duncan felt slightly compelled to squish it, it looked so squishy...

Violet laughed and interrupted Duncan's train of thought.

"You don't want to know," she said.

"Hey," said Fiona randomly, "maybe since Isadora and Klaus are destined to be together and Quigley and Violet are destined to be together Duncan and I should hook up!"

Duncan threw up in his mouth a bit. Then he swallowed it again.

"Oh, god, no!" said Duncan. He shuddered and cringed at the thought again.

Then Sunny, who was dying for attention because she didn't have anyone to fight over her, gave a wide smile and the camera panned and zoomed into her mouth so it became a blackout, which was awkward to film for all parties involved.

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**A/N: Oh my gosh. That was even stupider than the first story...  
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**Did you get the Jean Valjean thing? Because Hugh Jackman...Valjean...Wolverine...oh, forget it.  
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**I hoped you like it. Please review! I might do this weird zombie thing because I had a creepy dream...Eugh!  
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